How to Encourage Your Shy, Two Year Old to Make Friends: Do You Remember When You Were That Age?

The typical shy, two-year old lives in a world where the word ‘no’ is the answer for everything.

The article, “Two-year-olds and shyness” suggests that being shy is normal for two-year olds, but not all two-year olds are shy and many do make friends easily.  

“Most 2-year-olds will outgrow their shyness.”

Teaching your shy two-year old to make friends, means first learning to understand his or her responses to the suggestions you make, or those of others.

A shy, two-year old is independent, curious and excited about exploring his or her world. He or she may not want others to engage in this exploration, or share the actual experience. A shy, two-year child may hide, turn away or run away from other children, teens or adults, particularly those who attempt to participate in what he or she is doing. Crying or emphatically saying ‘no’ is a typical response of a shy, two year old.

Learning social skills is important and social interaction is essential.    

There are things that you can do to encourage your shy, two year old to make friends.

They include the following.

Create positive, motivational experiences for your shy, two-year old child. Quietly introduce another child or other children who are approximately the same age, to your shy, two-year old. Observe their interaction, intervening only when necessary. Encourage your shy, two-year old to let the other child or children into his or her ongoing activity.

Note that any two-year old may give an emphatic ‘no’ or walk away from any potential interaction with others. It does not necessarily mean the child is shy. He or she may stand at a distance and unobtrusively observe the interaction of others. Remember that he or she learns by watching and does not necessarily have to interact with them, until such a time as he or she is ready to do so. When something appears to be fun, even a shy, two-year old will seek to return to and participate in an ongoing activity.

Do not force a shy, two-year old to participate and interact with other children. Speak positively and constructively, allowing him or her to take the initiative. Avoid labels such as ‘bad’ or ‘shy’.

Allow your shy, two-year old to interact when he or she is ready, without fear of reprimands or punishment. Reward positive interaction with other children, encouraging group activity.

Many shy, two-year olds relate well to younger or older children, as well as adults, including grandparents and other family members. Encourage ongoing interaction with people of all ages, as that helps to eradicate shyness in time. Teach your shy, two-year old how to respond appropriately to others.

A shy, two-year old will gradually begin to feel secure enough to take steps towards making friends without any intervention from others. At times, the presence of a pet may allow interaction with others because the pet becomes the center of attention, rather than the shy, two-year old. Avoid situations where another child takes a security blanket or loved teddy bear etc. from your shy, two-year old.

Do you remember when you were two-years old? You might have been shy too. Maybe you still are.