Learning to use conflict in a
positive and constructive way can help you to attain your goals. Conflict may
not always appear to be something that is good. At best, it seems to upset your
world and makes it appear unstable. It can affect how you perceive the possible
attainment of your goals.
When you learn how to make
conflict work to your advantage, instead of allowing it to work towards the advantage
of your adversary, it becomes a powerful, positive force for effecting change
in your life.
Understanding the basic nature
of conflict is important. Everyone has to contend with some degree of internal
and external conflict, at one time or another. Both can appear to be
problematic, destructive and devastating.
Learning to deal with conflict
properly is also important.
At the root of conflict lies
difference, adversity, or various bones of contention. Adversity leading toward
conflict is not necessarily easy or fun to deal with, at any time. Having the
right attitude towards it no matter how many times you have to face conflict,
can prove beneficial to you.
Even if your goals are at the
heart of adversity leading towards conflict, you can find some way to surpass
the adversity and conflict, as well as resume your pathway towards them.
Consider your options. Can you rise above the conflict? Maybe you can go above
it, under it or around it in some way and still achieve your goal.
What is conflict?
To be in conflict is “to come into collision or
disagreement; be contradictory, at variance, or in opposition,” according to
Dictionary.com.
Controversy and conflict result
in potential “strife”, a pending “struggle” of some kind or a “clash” resulting
from the “discord of action, feeling, or effect;
antagonism or opposition, as of interests or principles.”
Perhaps one might suggest that
the true power of conflict and the secret to dealing with it lies in the
reality that conflict in itself is essentially unstable. Anything unstable can
move in one direction or another depending upon internal or external forces.
Recognizing its unstable
nature, you can turn instability of conflict into something that is stable and helps
you achieve your goals.
What should you do when in
conflict?
First, acknowledge the reality of conflict. Look for its roots. Be aware that conflict may find
its own resolution even if you do nothing. For example, a man who is in
conflict about his future finds resolution in a dream. An older woman in
conflict with her daughter-in-law finds familial conflict resolved, after she
becomes a grandmother.
At other times, positive action
can effect change that leads to the fulfillment of personal goals. For example,
a young man who seeks a position with a company pursues specific academic goals, as advised
to do so by a potential employer and he proves to be the best candidate for a
new position, in spite of his history of previous conflict with another
employer. While this takes time and effort on his part, it proves
effective. Motivation and action are the best route to go when goal
seeking, but positive, constructive action works while negative and destructive
action will not succeed.
Remember to look at conflict
and its possible resolution from every possible direction. Become proactive and
it may reveal its own solution and lead you to attain your goals.
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